I grew up
in Maryland and moved to Virginia to attend college. I graduated from
Liberty University with a degree in Music Education in 1980. Liberty's
founder is Dr. Jerry Falwell - who, unfortunately, is the source of a
lot of hatred and bigotry against the gay and lesbian community. (What
some people will do just to make a dollar.....) I survived and lived to
tell about it!
Having
been raised in a Christian (Baptist) home, being the eldest of four boys
and one girl, I always felt the responsibility to set an example for my
younger siblings. I always felt that there was something different
about me, but I had no one to talk to about my feelings, and felt very
alone with this secret.
I was
always taught the difference between right and wrong. However, when it
came to sex, it was not to be found in my family's dictionary. I cannot
recall having any conversations about sex with my parents. The most we
ever discussed was private parts - and that we certainly never talked
about.
I always
wondered why I was never attracted sexually or romantically towards
women. Although the subject of homosexuality was never discussed at
home, I remembered how my parents would address "older" singles as being
old maids or confirmed bachelors. The subject of gays or lesbians even
existing back in the early 60's was just not on the table to discuss.
Now I know that many of those older people were gays and lesbians and
most of them were hiding their true identity. To be out in the 50's,
60's and even 70's had much more severe repercussions than today.
After
several attempts of trying to have a friendship / relationship with
girls throughout elementary, junior and senior high school, I quit
trying. Little did I know that being gay was something that I could
celebrate and be proud of. Back then there were no role models or
mentors like we have today, such athletes, politicians, etc.
"Christian"
colleges are notorious for housing sexually bewildered young people. Of
course these colleges try to weed out gay and lesbian people in the
application process - but they / we / I make it through the doors
somehow and are hidden behind huge closet doors. Having been there, I
know this is a very fearful place to be. At most Christian schools such
as Liberty University, Bob Jones University, Tennessee TempleSchools,
Nyack College and many seminaries throughout the nation, to name a few,
there are hundreds of students this fall who were born, from the
foundations of the earth, with a gay / lesbian orientation, yet they are
told this is sin, ridiculed and scorned. Unfortunately, many of these
students will contemplate suicide; sadder yet, many will succeed. This
is totally wrong.
I finally
came to resolve my confusion and feel at peace with my sexual
orientation through the ministry and friends of Evangelicals Concerned
and also through 2 years of therapy. I am so happy to be out now and
rejoice in feeling great about myself and am very grateful for the
special people God has put into my life to help me accept who I am.
The
support of my local PFLAG Chapter (a national organization-Parents and
Friends of Gays and Lesbians) has also been a great encouragement to me.
This group again offers a supportive atmosphere where a person can
express their fears and gain the intrinsic strength necessary to come
out.
Accepting
my God-given sexual orientation has been a process and a journey. This
process has taken me several years to accept and deal with but it has
been worth it all to come out.
In my
journey, I have found the folks who are seemingly the most
self-righteous and judgmental against gay and lesbian people are usually
projecting onto others their own fears and inadequacies.
My life is
dedicated now, not only to Christ and His church, but also to the
support of other gay and lesbian Christians who need to know that God
loves and accepts them and embraces their sexual diversity.
Through coming out, perhaps one person at a time, we can all change this world to be a better place for all of us.
Art