Hello
brothers and sisters in the Lord from Ann in Long Island , N.Y. If there
are other gay Christians in my area, please contact me at Angel368@aol.com. I would love to hear from you.
I
discovered I was a gay woman (officially) at the age of 15. I would
encounter my first relationship in high school which, was both exciting
and terrifying at once. Fear, confusion, love, then deep loneliness at
having to keep the big secret. I actively pursued being true to my
orientation throughout high school and college with the help of older
gay role models. My devout Catholic parents became aware of me at the
age of 21, threw me out of our home and disowned me. Yes, I began to
realize, this life was full of obstacles. P.S., at this point, I still
did not know the Lord.
A car
packed with my belongings, no home, no job, I drove to Boston to begin a
new life. Praise the Lord, it was here in beautiful New England, that a
kind elderly lady introduced me to the possibility of a relationship
with Jesus Christ. Up till now I had only religion, which produced far
more conflict and pain than a true knowledge of God. But this kind woman
read to me from the Gospels and taught me about Jesus, and like a
magnet I was drawn to this Jesus whom I discovered was God. She was not
phased in the least at my being gay. She radiated the Love of the Lord,
and I wanted what she had. We all need someone like her in our lives.
In
November 1984, I became a "New Creation In Christ." At age 25, my entire
view of life changed from the inside out. Now a dilemma! Now that I had
met the Lord and given my life to him, what about all the decisions I
made up till now without Him? Would being a gay woman still fit into
this new life? The next few years would prove to be excruciating and
full of turmoil. I wanted only to do His will, but my fellow Christians
were convinced being gay is not in God's will. I pursued celibacy for
several years only to find myself in an extreme depression from
loneliness. The Lord sustained me. I began to date men.
After all,
I had never done so since I came out at such a young age. I desired to
have family, children and a large extended family. I met a Christian man
who loved and accepted me as I was. Surely this was a sign from God to
pursue a hetero-marriage. So I did, much to my later regret. Church
wedding, gowns, reception, the whole nine yards. You can imagine the joy
and relief in my parents heart. Well, needless to say, the marriage
quickly deteriorated into much pain and conflict for both of us. We
prayed, went to counseling. I asked the Lord each day, "please, help me
make this new life work." The Lord answered that prayer but not in the
manner I was seeking. To no avail and many tears, we divorced after
three years.
The Lord
had brought me through this experience and demonstrated to me how
important it is to live in the truth, not a lie. My identity as a gay
person did not change because I altered the exterior circumstances. I
was distant from the Lord because of my denial and repression of who He
made me to be.
My
friends, this I know, having uncovered every stone, "We are truly Born
Gay and Born Again" to be used for the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The persecution we endure, the loneliness we encounter can only serve to
deepen the intimacy between us and our Lord. He knows and understands
our struggles. He walked that path also.
I am now
sharing my life with a beautiful Christian woman in a lovely home that
we open to those in need of the Lord's love. Yes, I have trials and
tribulations but I put my hope in Him who has overcome the world. Live
your life in Him. Receive his presence in your heart and soul every day.
Read the Word faithfully as God's love letter to you. Access the many
resources for gay Christians who want to study the Bible but cannot due
to past condemnation. Remember, the Author loves you very much and
desires to feed his gay children from the milk of the Word. Jesus is the
way, the truth and the life. Yes, that includes you, his gay child.
May the peace of Christ be with you.
Ann